Scarlett’s Letter 1/11/2013

Happy New Year! A week and some late. The year started off with deviance, decadence and debauchery. I had a houseful of college students and my lover, the latter being the last to return home to far north early yesterday. In the miserable and morbid quiet that is weighing down my mood, it is time to regroup, reflect, refocus and remember that happiness comes from within and I alone am responsible for it. A few other reminders for myself:

Eat less. I need to eat about half of what I’ve been eating. Portion control is key and they have been burgeoning out of control. I have even caught myself taking generous second helpings! I am going to prepare half as much for myself as I have been for each and every meal. I will also focus on eating more slowly and deliberately, not scarfing (I’ve been living in what seemed very much like a youth hostel for the past three weeks, what can I say?)

Work out more. I need to work out. I do want to change it up a bit, I have fallen into a workout routine, which I still thrive on, but I want to reshape more now, than just melt fat (that will come). Having purchased Beach Body Insanity a couple of months ago, today I broke out and previewed the introductory DVD. Tomorrow I will take the “Fit Test” and get started. I also purchased the “Brazil Butt Lift”; I will preview that later today and schedule that into the mix. The gym is still my refuge and I plan to incorporate my cardio routine at least a few times a week. I also plan to find an affordable yoga studio where I can continue my quest towards flexibility.

Drink less. I vowed to myself a couple of years ago that one adult beverage a day was permissible. As with chocolate and other highly enjoyable things, it is better to enjoy with some self-control and moderation than to have to give it up completely because of lack of control and excess. With lover boy visiting from afar, my recent two drinks a night grew to bottles. The reason for his visit was as a result of a drunk dial begging session after a six pack of dark beer and some number of whiskey shots with the more youthful occupants of the house at the “Ugly Sweater Party”. Back to a glass of wine or a bottle of beer a day … okay, maybe two on Friday and Saturday … or unless at a wine or beer tasting venue. And chocolate? One square. To be more clear; one square, once a day. The recycling truck just stopped by a moment ago and as the mechanical arm grabbed our can I swear I saw the truck strain with the effort of lifting it. As the can emptied into the truck, all that could be heard , for what seemed an eternity, was breaking glass; wine bottles, beer bottles, whiskey bottles, and one extra virgin olive oil bottle. I’m a bit embarrassed to go out and reclaim the can.

Drink more. Water. I’ve been slacking and it shows in my skin.

Sleep more. House parties and dinner parties and late night discussions all left on various airplanes for destinations all over the globe. I can get back to trying to get quality sleep. This is a priority, as it is usually the first thing I will compromise in order to get things done, have a conversation with lover boy, read, listen to music, etc. I need to schedule those activities earlier and get the necessary sleep. Again, it shows in my skin.

Read more. Fiction, non-fiction, business books, self-improvement books and Jane Austen (she is a category all her own).

Spend less. Save more. Enough said. I need to especially pay attention to those quick trips to Amazon, the Kindle bookstore, and other online shopping venues where my debit card information is stored. This one-click business needs to be managed. I just stopped myself short on the Apple website a few moments ago; I want Microsoft Office for Mac. I still do. But I am making myself pay bills and set aside savings and grocery money first. Often making oneself stop and think before clicking “buy” is enough to allow reason and discipline to take charge (works for all the preceding topics as well).

Get ready. Everyday. All the way. I sometimes work from home, and on those days I need to re-commit to my belief that by getting up, working out, showering and doing hair and makeup, as though I were working with clients in person, I will do a better job and feel better about myself.

About that relationship. It will either work or it won’t and it isn’t entirely up to me. I will give it all I’ve got without forcing it and accept whatever happens. I will communicate, verbally, which is often a challenge for me. I find excuses as to why I shouldn’t speak up at certain points when I should; I seek peace by nature. The timing is wrong. The place is wrong. I can’t quite articulate my thoughts.

Now. Live in the present. Dwelling on the past creates depression. Stressing about the future fosters anxiety. Live for each day, with focus and care, and each day (which are the tomorrows) will all be more joyful.

Journal. Here I am. I can do this, to some degree, on a daily basis, no matter where my travels take me. Taking a few moments to record thoughts allows for reflection and helps maintain focus.

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