Think Tank

I have always believed in cleanliness. Well, ever since junior high, when I figured out it wasn’t cool to have stringy, greasy hair. And to smell odd. Ever since then, though, a daily shower has been as necessary as getting out of bed, I am convinced that I am not fully awake until I have had my shower. A day without a shower just doesn’t feel right, I feel foggy, groggy and out of sorts. I swear I almost have a dull headache for lack of a shower. I have the luxury of working from home when not traveling all over the country, and on those days, it is assumed by many, since I don’t video conference, that I am in my PJ’s, no makeup, hair in a ponytail. Perhaps the sweats, if headed to the gym right after work. Perhaps the ponytail. Occasionally bare faced, but only if running really, really late. Then I usually apply make up on my break. But I am always, always showered. I can count on one hand, in five years, the number of times I have taught a session from home without the benefit of a shower first. And only once, ever, in person.

I have a close friend who agrees with me. She told me once that she’d heard a theory that taking a shower normalizes the positive and negative ions on or around your body or some such thing, and that some of us are hyper-sensitive to this imbalance, which a simple shower corrects. This explains the foggy, groggy feeling. Sounds pretty far-fetched, but if you were me, you’d believe it. 

I also hate going to bed dirty or gritty or sweaty. I will often take a shower before bed, too, only to sleep a few hours, then get up and take another shower. They say that cleanliness is next to godliness. I had two today. And I didn’t even get to go to the gym. 

I believe that showering daily, preferably at the beginning of your day, boosts your self esteem. You feel clean! You know you smell good! Your skin and hair are shiny and fresh. If I don’t shower in the morning I spend the whole day wondering if people can tell. Do I smell, is my hair stringier than usual? Does my skin look dull? i. Just. Feel. Like. Ick.

I also think showering regularly (as many times a day as is necessary and practical) is good for your sexuality. You’re just so much yummier if you’re clean. Everywhere. And don’t just take my word for it; in “Veronica Monet’s Sex Secrets of Escorts: Tips From a Pro”, she recommends the same thing for a pleasurable experience for both (all) parties involved.

I will forever extol the virtues of a daily shower. And, I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but the best ideas come to you while you’re in the shower, if you’re paying attention. I like to consider the shower my own, personal “think tank”. I’m serious. I have solved more problems while in the shower. I’ll just be standing there, wearing nothing but a perplexed frown. The water will be pounding on my back and I just pause. Ok, zone out. And BAM! That’s when it happens. The solution hits me! 

I was having a terrible time with my work computer a month or so ago. Something went haywire between the time I left one client’s location on Long Island on Friday and the time I got home on Saturday. The computer failed to start, I’d get almost all booted up and it would crash. Blue screen of death. I had to leave the next day for Milwaukee, with a dead computer. Talk about stress. It was in the shower after arriving at the hotel that I masterminded the series of actions I would take that ultimately led me to patching the sick computer together just enough to get through the next two days of training with the client. In the shower, zoning out and BAM!! 

I ended up swapping out hard drives and reinstalling all my software. One software didn’t load right, so I uninstalled it and tried to reload it, but I kept getting an error message that there was already an instance of a database for this software, blah, blah, blah. I took a shower. Zoned out. And BAM! I was able to identify the database file, remove it, and successfully install the software! 

So if you have a problem and you just can’t think of the solution, take a shower. Give yourself enough time to kind of zone out. Close your eyes and let the water pound on your back for a few minutes. Don’t deliberately think about the problem, keep it just on the edges of your mind. See what happens! 

I’ve heard several “self help” guru type folks, especially those into the powers of the universe and visualization, say you should write down a list of things you’d like to find a solution to just before you go to bed. Read it before falling asleep, and your sub conscience will solve the dilemma while you sleep. That may be true, but I am usually too sleepy to remember the problems, let alone the solutions, when I wake up. Once I’m in the shower, though, BAM! There it is! 

Need to really brainstorm? Try drinking your cup of coffee before getting into your shower! You’ll solve not only your problems, but all the problems in the world! I swear it. The cure for cancer, for AIDS, is just one cup of coffee and a hot shower away. World peace, global warming, just a cup of coffee and a shower away. 

Comments are closed.