“Beauty is whats on the inside” This is true, beauty comes from within. My less politically correct expansion on that topic is that your inner beauty is visible externally and you’d better be working on it 24/7 for the desired results. Whether we admit it or not, we all want to be good looking/better looking. We all have “issues” with our personal appearance. And if you don’t admit to constantly comparing yourself aesthetically with everyone you come in contact with, you’re lying.
Sources of internal beauty that are visible from the outside – aka – How To Be More Beautiful
Self esteem – if you don’t have it, get it
Healthy self image – if you don’t have one, get one
Fitness (not thinness) – nothing makes you feel hotter than feeling more fit than you did last month
Sexuality – learn more to enjoy more, enhances self esteem and self image
Services (waxing, hair styling/color, massage, chiropractic, manicure/pedicure, etc) – costs, but doesn’t have to cost a fortune. Aesthetic qualities go without saying, the boost to your self esteem and self image (and sexuality) are the reinforcing qualities. Once you believe you’re worth it, you’ll see that reflects outward and others will believe it, too. And if you can only afford one self indulgent service, consider the power of brows. Men and women, have your brows professionally done. Ladies, if you aren’t enhancing your brows with makeup, you’re missing out. Brows and lashes are the only real makeup you need to improve your appearance significantly.
Nutrition – you are what you eat. I’m awesome, how about you?
Nourishment of mind and soul – books, audio books, online resources
Healthy relationships – get rid of any relationship that in any way undermines your self-esteem. Now.
Things you can do on a daily basis to just feel better and boost your self esteem and self image:
Wake up at a decent hour – set an alarm, but make sure you’re getting adequate sleep
Spend a few moments thinking before you get up (meditating or journaling on affirmations and gratitude, do some visualization)
Get up at a decent hour
Drink 8 – 16 ounces of water
Eat a small, healthy breakfast with protein, fruit, and a whole grain
Work out – even if only 15 – 20 minutes
Drink coffee or tea, if you must, learn to limit to one serving per day
Shower and shampoo
Primp (guys, shave/trim, girls, makeup and hair)
Floss, brush with whitening toothpaste, rinse with whitening mouthwash
Dress like you’re going somewhere, even if you aren’t
Do something meaningful (work, read, write, volunteer) – make your day worthwhile
Eat a healthful mid morning snack, for example, eight whole, raw almonds, fresh or dried organic fruit (1 piece of fresh or 1 serving per package label if dried)
Eat a generous healthful lunch, 4 ounces of lean protein, a few servings of veggies, preferably organic and raw, a whole grain, like quinoa (sandwich bread with “enriched” flour doesn’t count)
Continue with meaningful tasks
Have a healthful afternoon snack, similar to morning snack
Work out again/some more, some time during the evening. Get in some cardio, take a group exercise class like Zumba. Take a yoga or Pilates class. Find a crossfit gym nearby. Run. Be active. Move your body.
Shower and primp
Have an early, healthful dinner – four ounces of lean protein and fresh (organic) veggies prepared healthfully. Try limiting whole grains with dinner once or twice a week, again, quinoa or bulgur or something interesting like that (avoid bread with “enriched” flour). Try to limit “bread” to once a week. Same with a gooey desserts. Choose carefully and enjoy them to the fullest when you do indulge. And do indulge. Deprivation is never part of a lasting plan.
Have dessert – my recommendation – one exquisite, crafted beer or glass of wine and a small piece of (organic) DARK chocolate (the more sweets you cut out of your diet, the less sugar you’ll need to satisfy your sweet tooth. The same goes for salt.)
Do something enjoyable with your evening. Visit on the phone/in person/Skype with someone you enjoy, read, write, shop, have sex, all of the above
Get ready for bed – wash your face, remove all makeup, floss, brush, rinse
Wear something to bed that makes you feel sexy – or nothing, if that does the trick
Meditate or journal on your day – observe what felt good, what went right, jot down affirmations and gratitude. Spend a few minutes visualiziing.
Go to bed and get plenty of rest, the right amount of sleep differs from one person to another, but should be between 7 – 9 hours per night.
Other crazy things to consider:
I know it is against feng shui, which I am a believer in, but, put up mirrors. Budget for and buy pretty mirrors that accent your decor for every room of the house. If you see yourself more often, you’ll be surprised how making little adjustments in your outward image (hair, makeup, dental hygiene, etc.) improves your reflection and your self-image and self-esteem
Take pictures of yourself. Use the timer on your old fashioned camera or your webcam. Take a picture (or a few) of yourself every day and look back at them often. Work up some nerve and try a quick video. Send friends short, videos on funny things that happened to you, or a video love note to a significant other or a family member you don’t see often. You’ll learn about how to enhance your overall appearance, your smile, your expressions, you’ll learn about what camera angles work for you. Its quite fun. If you struggle with feeling sexy, with sexuality, you can take this a little further (for your eyes only, or for a limited and controlled viewing audience e.g. your significant other), take pictures of yourself in pretty lingerie or partly undressed. The beauty of digital photography, is you can take a hundred photos, they don’t need to leave the house to be developed, and you can delete all but the couple where you look marvelous!
Teach something. Become a volunteer or paid instructor for something you’re good at, whether its software, music, dance, organizational skills, scrapbooking or origami, find yourself an audience. Having to prepare and teach in front of other people, live or in video format, helps you learn to put your best foot forward. Once you learn which is your best foot, put that foot forward everyday, whether you’re teaching, or not. Watch some YouTube videos on topics that interest you to see what others do. My favorite are Jenna Marbles, Kandee Johnson and other fashion and make up video blogs.
Give up soda. Including diet soda. We were never intended to digest such garbage and our bodies just don’t know what to do with all that sugar/all those chemicals
Give up processed food. When buying food, ask yourself “how many processes has this food gone through?”. Veggies should be grown (organically), picked, transported, displayed. Meat should be raised (sustainably, humanely, and organically), slaughtered, butchered, packaged, transported, displayed. The fewer process, the better. Now think of a box of macaroni and cheese or other meal helper, frozen entree, canned/boxed food product; read the ingredients, if you can’t recognize the ingredients as whole plants or animals, if you can’t pronounce the ingredient, you really should not be eating it. Again, our bodies have no idea what to do with most of that stuff. And, alarmingly, some of the most highly processed and unwholesome food out there are your reduced calorie, reduced fat foods we resort to when we want to “eat healthy” or lose weight.
Make someone smile, somehow, each and every day. Say “Hi!” to people who make eye contact with you. They’ll smile and say “hello” back, which boosts your self esteem, and theirs! Its a win-win!
Treat yourself to something small, but special, once a month or so. Something that dresses you up; cute trendy shoes, a scarf, a cardigan. It doesn’t have to be major, but if it makes you look and feel great, you deserve it, and the fact that you buy it for yourself lets your subconscious know that you think you’re worth it.
Get out of the house. Go for a walk and say “hello” to people you pass. How many of your neighbors do you actually know? Go window shop somewhere you’ve never been before. Learn about a new neighborhood. Go to an art gallery. Joine a “MeetUp” group that interests you and attend a fun outing. There are so many things you can do, even by yourself, that are fun, relaxing, and broaden the boundaries of your everyday world. Explore theses. Often.
Make a point of having a conversation with a complete stranger on a daily basis. If you find interest in people, they will find interest in you. When you realize that people find you interesting, your self esteem rises exponentially. Even the most ordinary of people are extraordinary in some way. With every person we come in contact with, even if only briefly, even if only once, we become richer and more interesting ourselves. Every contact or connection we make adds to the fabric of our lives, the color, the pattern, the texture, all become more interesting, more intriguing and more appealing. Even as ordinary people, we can become extraordinary through the connections we make.
Once we realize that we are more than ordinary, especially in our own estimation, we become irresistible to others.