I have decided the just about the whole world needs an attitude adjustment, a positive attitude adjustment, and in an effort to make this happen I am striking the phrase “what’s wrong” from my repertoire of questions. We are so automatic to ask, “what’s wrong” of the people around us and then find ourselves captive to a one sided discussion of all in the world of that person that is wrong. While it is proper, polite and supportive to be sympathetic and to listen actively and offer the appropriate support or action, unless something truly catastrophic has happened, it is really a disservice to friends, family and loved ones to prompt such negative behavior patterns.
Those of us who believe and live under the comfort and practice of positive mental thought and attitude are well aware that when positive, life just goes more smoothly, and those occasional bumps are just pebbles in the path, not boulders blocking the road. We have learned, or are at least benefiting from the positive energy that our positive thoughts and attitude generate. With more practice, life evens out even more, and if troubles arise, we are in the right frame of mind to deal with them and move on to more positive matters.
For those who are not so positive, the focus on the negative, quite simply, through the negative energy of the negative thoughts, just creates more negativity. Negative energy is usually enhanced by severe emotions, making it all that much more powerful; stress, anxiety, worry, dissatisfaction, anger, frustration, hate. All of these are very intensified emotions and multiply the energy of the negative thought exponentially.
I know, in reality, it is very difficult to prompt people who are less than positive to only speak of what’s right in their lives. Usually, people who are less than positive have been that way for most, if not all of their lives. Changing those thought patterns and behaviors are difficult and can never be done externally. In other words, the change has to come from within. And, to make matters worse, the more negatively inclined rarely want to hear all your positive mental attitude stuff, they can barely tolerate your bright outlook and carefree life. They want you to come to the pity party. Don’t go there, you just make the negativism more powerful, you add additional energy to it. I do think we can live by example, by we, I mean those of us who are more positive in thought, in attitude and in nature. That’s the firs step.
Have you ever noticed when we have a less than perfect day, okay, a bad day, and we acknowledge it, it usually continues in that manner. You stub your toe getting out of bed, your trip over the cat, you spill your coffee on your work project, the traffic signals aren’t working, causing a major delay in your commute, you burn your lunch beyond recognition in the microwave, so you buy popcorn from the vending machine, and then burn that, too. The day seemed in a downward spiral from the moment you stubbed your toe. And with each “bad thing” that happened, you just rolled your eyes and added it all to your growing list of “what is wrong with this day”. We all do it. The trick is to stop after stubbing your toe! Once we acknowledge that as the “pattern for the day to come”, with negative energy, we have set ourselves up for the manifestation of more bad stuff, however insignificant alone, we are on a vigilant lookout for “bad things” to happen the rest of the day, and we’re going to go out of our way to only acknowledge “bad things”.
So, next time you stub your toe getting out of bed, stop, take a deep breath and just say “glad to get that out of the way, the rest of the day is going to be perfect!” Smile and acknowledge all the good things that happen the rest of the day, even if you do burn the popcorn in the microwave. We all do. It’s evil stuff, I’ve never seen microwave popcorn NOT burst into flame. Opt for the Red Vines from the vending machine, instead. No danger. It’s all good, then!
We know how to set ourselves up for a more positive day when it starts out with a stubbed toe. How can we possibly redirect those around us to a more positive outlook? As much as I’d like to walk up to people and way “what’s right?” I know it probably won’t be met with the reaction I’m hoping for. Perhaps it’s a little more like fishing, give them a little line, then reel them in. Kind of like redirecting undesirable behavior from a small child. If you know the person well, you may know a bit about their lives, their hobbies, their families, something they find pleasure or joy in. Just redirect. Pick a topic, a question, you know you’re likely to get a more positive response from. Ask about their kids, their cat, their dog, their beloved car, their favorite television show, ANYTHING you can think of that will likely elicit a positive response. Then take it from there. Make a mental note of which topics generated more positive conversation and revisit those topics every time you have conversation with that person.
Sadly, we are usually positive people in the midst of much misery, and moaning. It is very easy to be drug down into the dumps, too. Stay positive, stay strong, be the beacon and the catalyst for more positive topics, more positive conversations. It may seem like a lot of work, but, like all things, hard work pays off. Being positive in a vacuum is about as successful as lighting a candle in a vacuum. Remember the song from Sunday school? “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.” Let your light shine, seek opportunities for developing positive conversation with people who are less positive than you. Foster positive conversation, positive topics and, hopefully, soon, you won’t be trying to light your candle in a vacuum. That’s what’s right!