Day one back in my world. Ugh. Too early. Not enough sleep. Too long of a day that went an hour longer than it should have. For the sake of customer service. It’s what I do.
I didn’t even go outside except to toss my empty beer bottles into the recycle bin.
I did share my pictures and videos from my last four weeks with my mom, and I realize what a crazy, magical, wild, full and unusual life I have crafted for myself. For that I am grateful, and for that I also wish for change.
I have a good life. I am so grateful for my job, my home, my family, my friends, and not particularly in that order. Vacation gives us the opportunity to vacate our daily lives, to, hopefully, gain a different perspective on the world, to rest, to relax and to rejuvenate. My vacation provided me with all of that, and more.
I’m in a phase right now. I believe our lives go through phases, this seems logical, there is the phase, of course, for growing up, then different phases for each of us as our lives progress, for me, the college phase, the career phase, the marriage and family phase, the “I have teenagers” phase, the empty nest phase and, now, the “what’s the next phase?” phase. Never content to sit back and just ride anything out, I am chasing down the bull I need to take by the horns. With many little efforts, many tiny attempts to move things in a vague direction, I have only managed to see the bull I want to conquer run off, yonder, over the next hill. I never lose sight of him, he just keeps eluding my attempts to grab him by the horns and wrestle him to the ground. Do you ever feel like that? You have some specific goals in mind, and have made some cursory efforts in moving toward them, yet they seem elusive. Ever distant. Ever “some day”. I’m not satisfied by that. I know exactly what I want for several different areas of my life and I’m just sitting on the fence watching that damn bull graze in the distance.
Well, now, I’ve pulled my boots on, my chaps are strapped tight, my hat straightened, I’m wearing my best Clint Eastwood squint and I am taking the first bold, determined strides towards the bull. As the bull seeks to elude me, or perhaps turns to charge at me, I will adjust my path as necessary. But I know what I want and I am not going to keep saying “some day”. Nor should you.
Your life is just that, your life. It is up to you to decide what it should be and then make a plan to make it happen. No one else should, or will, do that for you. If you have a dream for your life, you deserve to live that dream, not to just wish for it. Are you just treading water, keeping your head afloat, while your dreams pass by with every wave? Get on that board and ride those waves. Life is meant to be fulfilling, not just wishful, and eventually regretful.
Is it that we are fearful of our dreams, whether they will be all in reality that they are in our dreams? They will likely be different, they may be better than we ever imagined, or not, but by moving towards them we will, at the very least, not be stuck where we are now. Treading water. We will have learned something, gained some experiences, and possibly everything in our wildest dreams, or maybe some new dreams. Dreams, in life, are related to the phases in life we pass through, they, too are subject to change. The dreams we had for our lives as a child are likely very different than the dreams we have at whatever phase of adulthood we’re in now. And, the dreams I had in early adulthood, some even having been realized and cherished, are now, very different. I have new dreams, different dreams, and, a couple of the same dreams, though refined. Just because one dream doesn’t amount to all we expected it to be at some point in life doesn’t mean we should abandon all of our other dreams. Or worse yet, give up dreaming. As the phases of our lives change, as our dreams change shape and direction, so too must our energy, our focus, our goals and our efforts in realizing those dreams.
I don’t know if you need this pep talk right now, but I do. Time to be bold because time waits for no one. Here, bull! Here, bull!